Body language is all the rage. You see it in the news, on entertainment shows, and too many other places. But is it really a science? Is it worth learning? How can it really help you get ahead?
From the view of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), body language is considered at worst a form of mind reading and at best an artful generalization. Body Language says if you fold your arms you are closed. What about the person sitting for a long time in a chair with no arm rests trying to get comfortable or the person who is cold?
In NLP we teach Sensory Acuity. Sensory acuity is the art of observation of other people for minute changes in their physiology. You would take a mental snapshot of a person’s physiology thereby calibrating them and then compare it to their physiology over time. Sensory acuity skills can be useful in many situations from therapy and change work to business coaching and meetings – to notice people responding or not to words and actions.
When using sensory acuity we use language to describe what is actually happening. If a person’s lips turn down we say just that. We do not say they frowned. The word frown is a label and labels connote and denote different information for each person.
There are several basic things to observe when it comes to sensory acuity. They are skin color and tonus, breathing rate, depth and location, pupil dilation and focus, and lower lip size. Let’s look at each one a bit more in depth.
Skin Color
As a person’s blood pressure rises and lowers, due to changing emotional states brought on by changing thoughts, the skin around the neck and face (usually not obscured by clothing) will change color. This is not a drastic shift in most people. Think of it like a black and white picture – it gets darker or lighter.
Skin Tonus
Skin and the underlying muscles have a certain tonus. As a person’s emotional state shifts their muscle tone can as well. In order for an eyebrow to be raised or a mouth to curl there are a number of muscles that must tighten and relax. Those are 2 overt examples. More subtle one’s might be a jaw or neck tightening or wrinkles forming or disappearing.
Breathing
People tend to breath from one of 3 locations. They either breathe from low in the torso or the stomach, from the middle of the torso, or from the upper portion of the chest. This can change as their state changes. They may shift from shallow to deep breaths and they may also shift the rate of their breaths.
Eyes
When people go in and out of certain states their eyes may dilate or change focus. You may notice a person’s eyes moving around quite a bit. This will be covered when I talk about the NLP Eye Patterns.
Lower Lip Size
Many students report this as being a difficult thing to notice. To make it easier instead of judging the size, notice the lines in the lip or the lack thereof. As the lip engorges with blood you will see the vertical lines in the lip start to disappear and vice versa as the lip decreases size.
Now that you have a few things to watch for please go out and start paying attention to people as you engage them in conversation and elicit powerful states in them. Remember to calibrate first and then elicit the state. Also, a word of warning, especial for the men: use your peripheral vision when looking at a person’s [of the opposite sex] chest.
Share this:
